marriage disagreements…

A week ago, we had the chance to get away from the kids for a night. We already had plans to take part in a Couples’ Café (the primary purpose of this post), and then afterwards we picked up some Chipotle dinner since it seemed everything we really wanted around the area was already closed at a little past 10pm.

Anyway, the Couples Café was quite an awesome time. It was an event by a local ministry called Peace in the Home (FYI – I’m on their Board of Directors) and hosted by our church, New Venture. The purpose is to discuss topics surrounding marriage, and the topic du-jour was ‘non-stick disagreements’.

couples-disagreement-need-for-counseling

I won’t go into all of everything that was talked about (because there was a lot of good stuff along with a bunch of really good discussion and conversation…), but that in a marriage there will be disagreements; there will be conflicts. Most of us marry someone who is quite the opposite of us, and we almost always have a lot of things we don’t agree with… a big take-away was the four [bad] patterns to recognize and minimize in your marriage:

  1. a disagreement that starts on one issue (usually small and inconsequential) but becomes something much more…
  2. putting down thoughts or feelings of your spouse
  3. believing no matter what that the motive of your spouse is negative regardless of the reality
  4. when one spouse withdraws or avoids from the other emotionally and/or physically

Keep in mind a good starting point is to recognize these patterns in your marriage; from there, you can try to reduce them.

I had intended to write about this a week ago, but like many things as of late, I’m fairly behind on my intentions. But just tonight I read How to Spot and Defeat the Four Marriage Killers (from the Simple Marriage blog – which I highly recommend) which if you read, is heavily similar in its points.

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3 responses to “marriage disagreements…

  1. Chris,

    When is the next Couples Cafe?

  2. Good question… I’m not sure for a New Venture Couples Cafe, but if you want to know about any other upcoming events they have at other churches, join their mailing list: http://peaceinthehome.org/contact_us.php

    I’m hoping though that this is the first of more… I so wanted to invite you guys to it but when it was announced a few Sundays ago, it filled up (25 couples) solid that day…

  3. How about a sand and watermill tower. Of course it is much easier to get into the habit of putting a toy away when it is obvious where it goes on the shelf, when every toy has a place where it belongs. And you don’t have to wander around the shops looking for what might be good.

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