|My thoughts about the following article No public lectures needed to discipline children from the Christian Science Monitor…||
From Every Day Life…
Parents, please stop lecturing your children in public. You are bothering everyone around you. Here’s a case in point: I was at the grocery store. A 3-year-old girl wanted a piece of candy and was lying on the floor throwing a tantrum. The mother turned to her and said calmly, “If you don’t stop crying, your privileges will be severely restricted. Mommy doesn’t appreciate your behavior. And, anyway, you know candy contains a lot of sugar and is bad for you.”
This is right. We need to stop treating our kids as if they are adults – they aren’t. Isa and I took a parenting class, that went into all kinds of topics – with one of them disciplining. One of the resources we used was the 1-2-3 Magic method – which boils down to some pretty simple concept: when the child acts in an undesired way, count it to a certain amount and then have them take a timeout. First thing – tell them “that’s one”. Next thing -> “that’s two”. One more time and “that’s three – and take 5.” They should go their room for 5 minutes. No further explanation. Most times, they already know it was wrong – they were just testing you. 123 Magic just doesn’t allow them to get away with it. This has mostly worked quite well for our kids … when we follow the concepts! Sometimes we still “feel the need” to explain why – like this article is focusing on.
I’m quite sure 123 Magic was probably developed for our parents’ generation (the video we watched showed parents that were dressed in styles I recall seeing my parents in when I was growing up!), but still applies.
Before that parenting class, my problem was getting to learn new techniques. We knew what we (well, more me) were doing wasn’t working, but didn’t know better ones even watching shows like Super Nanny. The parenting class was a big help, unfortunately they were not many others that took the class (two others other than us finished the class), and even more so, it was only moms that attended the class – no fathers. I do know that for one of the couples, the father was watching the kids while the mother was in the class, but still seemed like the fathers need the concepts just as much if not sometimes more than the mothers. I know it’s hard to change my ways…
Maybe I will pull out our notes on the class and put some of them in here… I doubt my brief summary of 123 magic is much help.