Category Archives: relationships

what if what you’ve doing up til now was wrong…

I’m not that huge into keeping up with the latest and greatest in software technologies. Never really have been either.

But what I’ve found is that my core understanding… my core knowledge… could use a little 90 degree turn and tweak. Just a little revisit to the fundamentals – the design concepts.

Clearly I am writing this specifically regarding my professional work realm, but I’m quite sure I’ve hit my head all too often on the wall over stuff, that if only I would backup and get a better picture of the goal(s), I might see a different route (or for a software perspective, using a different architecture) might make MORE sense.

Proverbs 3

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; 10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

13 Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.

19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; 20 by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew.

21 My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; 22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. 23 Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, 26 for the LORD will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”— when you already have it with you. 29 Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. 30 Do not accuse anyone for no reason—
when they have done you no harm.

31 Do not envy the violent or choose any of their ways.

32 For the LORD detests the perverse but takes the upright into his confidence.
33 The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. 34 He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed. 35 The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame.

maps, continued (and opened up!)

A handful of pages further down in “The Road Less Traveled”, and still under the technique of dedication to reality is the concept of being ‘open to challenge’:

A life of total dedication to the truth also means a life of willingness to be personally challenged. The only way that we can be certain that our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other map-makers.

I had a hard time not reading this and thinking of the whole ‘growth group’ / ‘G Men’ weekly get-togethers (and more) that has been going on for (I think) more than three years. I’m well aware that even with close friends, an openness is by no means easy or even desired. It seems by far more desired by most people to have surface relationships as in we don’t want to have to deal with being challenged.

Ironically though, it seems I’ve met quite a few people that really do want to talk, at length I might add, over some really hard struggles they are going through. Many a time I’ve heard the statement that “I don’t feel like anyone is willing to listen”, except it seems me. Please do not interpret this as attempting to puff myself up and have pride in this; at times I find this challenging as several of these people want me to call them, when I simply barely am able to find the time each day, especially for my family. Additionally, I find this hard since I myself struggle to communicate (in particular with those close to me) because I frequently find myself in a position of listening and less sharing…

weaving in your marriage

It seems the new routine is an occasional post. I don’t desire to end this blog like I have for other things (especially due to the occasional interest in having an ‘outlet’) but there’s certainly a lessened interest most of the times. Anyway…

As of late we’ve been part of a marriage small group with our church family… it’s been great and involved a lot of really thoughtful and diverse discussion. I’m the ‘apprentice’/assistant and that means occasionally I get to ‘lead’/facilate discussion. Yesterday was the first and the topic already identified was Weaving. It’s part 3 (with part 1 being Leaving, and part 2 being Cleaving). The best part of the night wasn’t anything I had written unfortunately – it was the discussion. Alas, I don’t take notes well for that sort of thing… but I leave you with my entire plans for discussion if for some reason this would be of value to someone.

Continue reading

a call for growth

Ah what timing to read this from Hebrews 5 today:

There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don’t seem to listen. You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.

Tim wrote yesterday about When Good Men Ask Good Questions, and my response to the question of “Why aren’t the people of God … being the people of God?” … I think it’s because enough are still needing “milk”. You wonder why pastors are out of breath and tired – could it because they are teaching the basic things over again to believers that aren’t new? As I write this, I feel like this can completely go down what I perceive to be a wrong path in condemning a lot of Christianity so I’ll try not to because I’m not sure that will be very helpful. What I want this to be is a call for spiritual growth.

What does this mean for each of us? I’ve no clue. I don’t consider it to mean doing everything the traditional church considers necessary, but let us be guided by God, His Spirit and the Bible in our works. From Ephesians 4:

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

It’s all about the relationships!

Listening to God’s Word versus living God’s Word … or going to church versus being the church … served versus serve. Mark 10:45 makes it clear:

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Serving others and through that, loving others. Continue reading